Updated Carrot Cake Recipe

My version of Banting Carrot Cake (revision 2): I've been testing a range of combinations of flours to determine which combo gives one the best possible carrot cake (texture-to-moistness-to-lightness ratios). I think this is the best carrot cake I've ever eaten (pre- and post-Banting) and my duty thus to share. 

My favourite Carrot Cake Recipe Ever

Ingredients:

300 ml Macadamia oil
250 ml greek yoghurt or cream
250 - 300 ml erythritol or xylitol
200 ml almond flour (or pecan nut flour)
75 ml coconut flour
100 ml flaxseed flour (Crede Flax Powder works very well)

125 ml desiccated coconut

500 ml grated carrots (about 4 medium carrots)
200 ml finely chopped pecan nuts
15 ml baking powder
6 ml bicarbonate of soda
15 ml ground cinnamon

5 ml all spice
7.5 ml ginger
2 ml salt
5 large eggs, beaten

Cream cheese icing:
1 packs of full fat cream cheese, room temperature

125 ml cottage cheese

2 tablespoons of butter, room temperature
60 ml xylitol (icing powder)
Few drops of vanilla

whole pecans for decoration (optional)

Method:

Pre-heat oven to 170-180°C

Beat together the oil and sweetener until fluffy-ish. Mix in the eggs. Mix dry ingredients and add half to the sugar-oil mixture and mix well. Add the remaining dry ingredients. Add grated carrots and chopped nuts and mix well.

Spoon the mixture into a loose-bottomed tin (20-23cm) or 24 muffin cups. With this recipe I recommend using baking paper to line the tin bottom and sides if you bake it as a cake. It works like a charm. Bake for about 50 minutes, I check from 35 minutes as baking time varies depending on oven type and if you are baking muffins 35 minutes is about right. Allow to cool and whip the cream cheese icing ingredients until fluffy, adding in the sweetener and vanilla. Pipe or spread to decorate. Enjoy!

Note to self

Maybe I should have this quote tattooed on my hand or something. How often do I have to keep reminding myself that failure is just part of the road and not permanent. I am desperately struggling with my failure at the moment. Failing to maintain my calorie intake when stressed, cold and hibernating has become a real challenge this winter. My return to an exercise regime is slow and quite taxing (mentally) and I hope will get me back on track on the eating side. I am so grateful to be back at the running thing and the slow pace is not really worrying me as much as I expected. I am struggling with the "tiredness" and how hard I have to work to just keep myself in the game. The mental part of the come back. The restraint that is required to not go out and hit it hard too soon. And the fear. I am on edge when training. Every twinge, every niggle, every ache, scares the wack out of me. And why am I struggling with controlling myself from eating too much. Everyday there is something nice that we want to eat. Every day I feel like I failed again and I have to start fresh the next day, just to fail again, because of a new food experience, an evening out, wine, a slice of cheesecake etc. None of it with sugar or carbs, but just not being able to listen to my body and opt not to eat when I am not hungry. We've not skipped meals recently, we've fallen into a habit of eating dinners because it is nice to be social and I enjoy the cooking. Together time over good food is our thing, but I need to get my mind set on a plan of action. I am stuck in failure-mode. My failure mode translates into me no longer tracking my food intake and not systematically working towards a weight goal. I need a serious reset. Suck it up and get there. Just do it. I say it, I know it, I just have to do it...help! I am bruised.

First steps taken

Joy! I ran my first gentle run yesterday evening. About 6 km and I held back on pace, keeping myself around 7 min/km for most of the track session. I had the most wonderful (soulful) experience running with Bronwynne and we chatted and just had a great session. It was wonderful to work up some sweat. I am back. Slow, very gently, but I am back at running.

Running with Bron reminded me again just how amazing the bonds are we create with our fellow runners. We share something special, because running makes you vulnerable. It's like when you run, your heart and soul is more visible or closer to the surface. I love running. I did not care that I was slow yesterday. I did not mind not running and pushing. I am so grateful to just be. So maybe sometimes an injury is there to remind me to be grateful to just be able to be out there. To remind me to be humble in my running and to put my life and my struggles in perspective.

Lesson noted and taken to heart. I am running with (and for) my heart and my soul.

Sometimes the monster is not under the bed, but in my head

I am feeling lost today.
Not due to something specific - normally winter months are tougher for me, but this feels different. I don't quite know what I feel like doing. None of my usual hobbies seem to draw me out today. It's weekend and I have not been able to exercise for 27 days. My calf muscle is slowly improving, but still very tight and after my test run 10 days ago, I have lost my oomph. It's fear. I am scared of going back because I may have to face the fact that it's not ready yet. I don't feel like facing that possibility nor do I feel like starting from scratch again. Losing the fitness we had after Comrades is not how I pictured this winter. I wanted so desperately to just keep running and be ready for the marathon in November. My dream had been to run the best ever Tough One this year because I would have been super fit. None of that happened. I am deeply disappointed of course, but there is this general feeling of malaise that just does not seem to leave me this week. It may just be the lack of exercise and the stress at work combining into a perfect emotional storm. I am dealing day-in-and-day-out with a lot of tough business issues, but also regularly with general people problems. Some days I really wish I had more psychological training and not just my "gut" to rely on. I have an issue at work that is panning out to be a big deal and I am not clear yet how to deal with this. My gut generally says, tackle it head on, but I don't think this will work in this case. I also don't think it's something one just leaves. I am deeply concerned and I am sure that does not help my cause.
I feel stuck inside my head.
My best friend taught me this trick that is supposed to uplift your mood. When you sit in the sun, close your eyes and cover with your hands. It should be really dark. Wait a few minutes until it is really BLACK. Then remove your hands (whilst keeping your eyes closed) lift your eyes towards the sun. The most amazing colours appear, it's like magic actually. Even patterns if you are lucky. Now wait until all the colour is gone and it turns white - cover your eyes again and wait for it to go completely black again. Repeat a few times. This is an extremely relaxing experience, but the trick is that one needs sun...Something that seems to be missing today.
I feel it swallowing me, this big, grey monster in my head. Without knowing exactly why, I feel a sense of loss without losing anything. It feels like the puzzle is too big today, and I cannot see the bigger picture. All I see is the pieces in front of me, no picture.

I always "Need to Have a Cause" or a project or a goal. This has been a very big deal in my life for as long as I can remember. This is by the way a very typical characteristic of INFJs - my own Myers-Briggs personality type. I get so caught up in the passion of my pursuit/s that any cumbersome issue, like waiting for the right time or waiting to heal, really trips me up. INFJs like to know that they are taking concrete steps towards their goals, and if life/timing/people get in my way, or worse yet, there is no goal at all, we feel restless and disappointed. I cannot "live" my goals at the moment or achieve progress at a pace that satisfies my sensibilities. I understand this of course, but I am unable to maintain this state of understanding for a long time.
I am also always at risk for "Burn Out" syndrome. I tend to tackle things with great passion and emotional investment. This passion together with my lack of patience and idealistic perspective can easily result in a build up inside me and without an outlet (letting of steam somehow) I get exhausted and despondent. Running gives me a way to balance my ideals with the realities of day-to-day living. Running is my way of letting of steam, my therapy, my cleanser and my goal; all wrapped up into one. Not running is more than just a time-out. I find myself slowly dissolving into a blob (physically and mentally). I feel like a couch potato with little or no drive. I tell myself that it is just temporary, but my heart is not hearing me. The message is getting softer, like a distant echo. Soon, soon, soon....and I have to somehow re-focus. But maybe not today.
This is not permanent, I know it, but heck it is hard to battle logic versus feeling somedays. Today is just a bad day, and I know it. Tomorrow will be better (or different) and eventually I will get inspired again. Right now, I just wanted to say it, admit it, deal with it in real WORDS. I am lost in my head.

Sweeteners ...Why I use Stevia and Erythritol

When I cook I and I need a sweetener, I try to avoid artificial sweeteners as far as practically possible. I always read the labels of any product that claims to be sugar free in detail. It is very seldom that one would find a product (especially mass produced) that uses erythritol or stevia and sometimes one compromises a little bit. In general, my rule is to avoid artificial sweeteners completely and my preference of use is stevia, erythritol and then xylitol if no other option is available. Stevia of course is risky, as it easily "tastes" artificial, so I generally blend stevia and erythritol to achieve my desired sweetness. A good ratio for me seems to be 1.3 cup of erythritol to 1/2 a tablespoon of stevia powder. This seems to prevent the food tasting like stevia-sweetened food.

Why do I prefer erythritol and stevia? Here is some of the pros and cons summarized.

• Xylitol is toxic for pets so I am always paranoid when using it that the dogs get hold of the bowls and the food. 
• Erythritol and stevia both have virtually no insulin response for people like me, this is important
• Xylitol tastes very much like sugar, whilst erythritol is slightly less "sweet" which is fine for me because we've been sugarless for so long now that really sweet stuff tastes nasty to me.
• Erythritol is more expensive than xylitol (and less accessible) so this is an issue for some people. Personally I try to limit my sweet stuff consumption to prevent us from falling into a sweet addiction again, so my consumption is limited to really just special treats. Stevia is generally fairly affordable, but I don't like using it on it's own in sweet dishes or baking due to the issue of the taste (It works fine when you want to cut the acidity of a tomato soup though). 
• Erythritol, unlike xylitol gives a "crunchiness" when used in baking. Rusks are a little bit more crunchy and it can be used to make meringues (Ta-Da). If you've tried to make meringues with xylitol you will know what I mean. Somethings in life should come with a CRUNCH.

 For those scientifically minded readers, I've put together from information obtained from the University of Sydney's website in a graph - looking at the Glycemic Index (GI) for common sugary substances and sweeteners.

I've left of all artificial ones as we try to avoid those. GI is just a way to explain a relative insulin response. 

Clearly, xylitol is still MILES better than most natural sugars; one can expect an insulin response when ingesting it though, even if mild and it greatly depends on your individual sensitivities. Small quantities of course is not going to be bad for you, but if you have a sweet tooth, it may be better to avoid using too much xylitol to bake with. 

(Link to raw data)

The data I used in table format below, for sake of completion.

So if you are like me, a tiny bit obsessive and like knowing about stuff, I hope this helps you.

Miss you Molly.

The Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths 

Of night and light and the half-light;

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W. B. Yeats

I miss you my Molly.

A (running) junkie in recovery

Me again. Still in recovery. It's ironic because the longer I am out, the more I feel that I am IN recovery, and not just recovering. "Hi, my name is Bella and I am a running junkie. It's been 22 days since I ran without pain." I've gone through some stages of grief, some of which requires me to do some restitution, but let's leave that for another day. I've also been forced to do some serious introspection. Looking into the mirror and polishing some of those dull spots. It's now officially three (long) weeks since the injury, and the jury is still out about my comeback. Being a very typical INFJ-personality I've been obsessing about obsessing. Since I've opted to start tracking my weight and my macro nutrients again, I've become a little obsessed with reviewing various Apps on my iPhone.

The first week I tested FatSecret, this week I am testing MyFitnessPal and some others were tried but discarded fairly quickly in between all of this. This has had other consequences, on which I will reflect later. So far, MyFitnessPal is the winner for me, although I find the control over the macro nutrients sub-par, the ease of data entry is superior.

What happens in my kitchen on a Saturday morning...
And this is what was left after the dishwasher was packed ;-)

KetodietApp is very cool in terms of other content (recipes, information etc). The reporting and how it tracks your food intake is cool (and in line with my way of eating), but I found entry of data too painful to sustain it. FatSecret was "ok" but lacked the finesse of MyFitnessPal when it came to entries. Overall, if you use FatSecret you could be happy, but I personally prefer MyFitnessPal. The FatSecret Web interface is slightly friendlier to use than the MyFitnessPal however, so it may be device sensitive. I tested the two phone Apps on my iPhone 5S. The KetodietApp is basically a blog incorporated into an App and works best on the iPad. It really is an excellent reference source for newbies on the LCHF diet. Although I purchased the App, I didn't add many extra recipes as I prefer using my own and making my own. I also find it easier to use Pinterest to "save" new recipes on my boards for viewing later. Once tested, I often review it or print it out for my "kitchen folder".
In my pursuit of happiness (during my time of recovery), I really have gone slightly berserk in the kitchen (especially on weekends). Recently I've been experimenting with variants of white chocolate fat bombs in an effort to create the best, ever ketogenic friendly white chocolate. The holy grail in my opinion. Milk chocolate that is not horribly sweet but still milky and creamy. It is easy to make dark chocolate that tastes great. The two nuts I still have to crack: (1) the "milkier" versions of the fat bombs and (2) a peppermint flavoured chocolate.

Best ever LC scones with cream and home made berry jam!
Yummy this was good.

So as per the evidence provided in my photograph of my kitchen sink (post-apocalyptic cooking event) this weekend was epic. Whilst pursuing this chocolate "dream", I baked some faux scones (LC-friendly and served with no-added-sugar-fruit-only jam and whipped cream), I made a mega-batch of toasted LC-granola (nuts and seeds), experimented with some chocolate, made some soup and roasted lamb.
All things good come to those who wait?
I am calm.
I am recovering.
Whilst eating scones and drinking tea. If I can't run...let me BAKE.